‘Tis the season, everyone! ‘Tis the season of buying and selling, giving and taking, eating and drinking, sneezing and blessing, caroling and drinking, wrapping and decorating, arguing and drinking, throwing and dodging, weeping and drinking… and… what else? Oh yeah, drinking. But it is also the season of Grant Scotland! In fact, it is the very first season of Grant Scotland merchandise! The inaugural season. Season One – with deleted scenes and a blooper reel!
That’s right! Sweet Grant Scotland loot is now available! Feast your eyes upon the glory that is the Official Adventures of Grant Scotland T-Shirt (TM)!
“Oh sweet merriment above the firmament!” you may cry out in glee. And who could blame you?
“I am unworthy to even gaze upon such gifts of grace!” you may exclaim tearfully. And who wouldn’t think that? Except maybe not quite with such hyperbole.
“But how might I lay my unworthy hands upon such gleaming bounty, even if only to pass it on to one more worthy than myself?” you may ask on your knees and with hands upraised beseechingly. And again, who could blame you? Although, really, you’re starting to get a little weird about the whole thing.
Well, you’re in luck! Every week during the holidays (and perhaps even some weeks after the holidays) I’ll be giving these T-Shirts away FREE! Yes, FREE meaning including shipping. Not, FREE, but you have to give me thirty bucks, first. No! FREE, like for real FREE. FREE as a newly born infant! FREE as a lucky penny! FREE as that pack of gum you stole when you thought no one was watching! (People were watching, it’s just that no one cared.) FREE, I say! FREE as only a man writing with no pants on can describe it!
“What’s the catch?” you ask, suddenly cagey and on guard. And why shouldn’t you be? There’s nothing in life for free!
And you’d be right. I do require one small favor. Sign up for my mailing list. In exchange, you become a permanent entrant to every weekly giveaway I hold this season (and possibly later).
That’s it. That’s all. No money involved. I promise not to email you anything but blog updates and alerts for book releases and major promotions. That will be at most once a week. Additionally, the mailing list stays with me, obviously. Your email address goes nowhere but into my Mailchimp account.
I’ll make sure nobody gonna get it. Know why? ‘Cause we tight, yo. *FIST BUMP*
So, every week for the next… mmm… call it five or so, I guess… I’ll draw a winning email address out of a virtual hat and announce the winner and ask that person where he or she would like me to send the shirt! It’s that simple! I’ll announce the first winner around this time next week, so sign up now!
Oh. What’s a virtual hat you ask? Well, it looks a little like this:
I’m reasonably certain you’d look way better in my t-shirt than I do. It’s really not that hard, as you can plainly see. You’ll draw a lot of attention. No need to thank me. And when people stop you on the street and say “I like your t-shirt,” you can reply with a wink: “Grant Scotland lives.”
Or you can smile awkwardly and look away and pretend to be interested in the cars and the buildings and the lack of anything interesting to look at while you wait for the crossing light to change. That’s pretty much what I do, because I suck at self-promotion. But it won’t be self-promotion if you do it!
But however and wherever you wear your Grant Scotland T-Shirt, you’ll be happy that you got it for FREE! So sign up now! Don’t miss your opportunity to be dressed in the next big thing in serial adventure, fantasy, mystery, action, espionage, suspense and… what else… oh yeah, drinking.
Hope you’ll sign up! Good luck! In the meantime, don’t forget to tip your driver and review a book!